God's plans are sneaky
So I woke up Monday morning with a slightly upset stomach. I won't give details but to say I visited the toilet enough times to keep me home. I assumed God was just trying to get me to slow down for a minute. After all, I have been busy and the next two weeks are only going to get busier until tax season is over. In btwn toilet breaks I decided I would clean house. I could stop and rest as I got tired. So I set out and was well into my second load of laundry and the floor in my bedroom was almost clear in preparation for vacuuming when the phone rang.
It was Mark, my friend who is living in Germany. We exchange emails from time to time, but he never calls me. I knew right then something was serious, and I could hear it in his voice. Let's just say within the hour I was on my way to a hospital 35 miles across town and found myself holding the hand of his mother as she lay dying.
I wasn't totally unprepared for this news as Mark's emails of the week had been focused on her and the fact that she needed to go in for an evaluation, but it was a shock when Mark told me at 11:00 that the doctor had just told him she would not make it far past lunch. She had been sick in February, and her body just never recovered this time. She was down to 100 pounds, and her lungs were weak. I hadn't seen her in about a year, and the person lying in the bed as I approached the room was so frail compared the one in my memory. I touched her head and it was so warm. Beads of sweat soaked her hair. Three days ago, I thought of this as a routine visit, figuring the doctors would give her nutrients and she would be back to her old perky self in no time. I thought I would phone her "tomorrow." But instead I was finding myself standing in the place of her son telling her it was okay to let go. My heart skips beats right now just thinking about it.
Please bear with me as I just talk for a minute...
I've been around death many times in my life, but never had I actually watched someone die. It was almost surreal, but at the same time I was accepting her finality and her chance to go home. Dorothy's neighbor friend had arrived at the hospital around midnight and stayed by her side until the end. She said at 5:00 that morning, she sat up in bed, alert as could be and was shuffling around the covers as if she was looking for something.
"What are you doing, Dorothy?" she asked.
"I've got to make breakfast."
"Not today. You are in the hospital, and today they are going to bring you breakfast."
She smiled and lay back down to rest. That was pretty much the last time she talked.
When I arrived I knew she was worried. Worried about her sons and what would happen when she was gone. Worried about leaving a home for someone to look after. I leaned over to her and said, "Don't worry Dorothy, Mark will take care of everything."
They say your hearing is the last thing to go, and that is so true. I was able to reach Mark by email from my phone about 1:30 p.m. I told him he could call me, and I could put the phone up to her ear so he could talk to her. The phone rang while the pastor from her church was praying, but I didn't care. I went over there and did as I said I would. The nurse was listening to her heart. As soon as Dorothy heard Mark's voice, she took a breath. He said a few words, then he said, "I love you." The nurse heard her heart beat two more times. Mark continued to talk. We were all so happy to witness this final exchange. She died about 1:40 p.m.
This morning I thought God put that bug in my gut to give me a break when in reality it wasn't about me at all. He needed me to be home and available to do something for Him.
My mom got here last night to help in any way she can. Later this morning we are going to make a few meals. Then we will pick up Mark from the airport and be there to do whatever needs doing. Pray for Mark and his brother as they grieve and make all the necessary preparations. Mark will have many decisions to make even after the funeral so pray about that too.
*****************************
I did finally update the previous post. See it's comments.
It was Mark, my friend who is living in Germany. We exchange emails from time to time, but he never calls me. I knew right then something was serious, and I could hear it in his voice. Let's just say within the hour I was on my way to a hospital 35 miles across town and found myself holding the hand of his mother as she lay dying.
I wasn't totally unprepared for this news as Mark's emails of the week had been focused on her and the fact that she needed to go in for an evaluation, but it was a shock when Mark told me at 11:00 that the doctor had just told him she would not make it far past lunch. She had been sick in February, and her body just never recovered this time. She was down to 100 pounds, and her lungs were weak. I hadn't seen her in about a year, and the person lying in the bed as I approached the room was so frail compared the one in my memory. I touched her head and it was so warm. Beads of sweat soaked her hair. Three days ago, I thought of this as a routine visit, figuring the doctors would give her nutrients and she would be back to her old perky self in no time. I thought I would phone her "tomorrow." But instead I was finding myself standing in the place of her son telling her it was okay to let go. My heart skips beats right now just thinking about it.
Please bear with me as I just talk for a minute...
I've been around death many times in my life, but never had I actually watched someone die. It was almost surreal, but at the same time I was accepting her finality and her chance to go home. Dorothy's neighbor friend had arrived at the hospital around midnight and stayed by her side until the end. She said at 5:00 that morning, she sat up in bed, alert as could be and was shuffling around the covers as if she was looking for something.
"What are you doing, Dorothy?" she asked.
"I've got to make breakfast."
"Not today. You are in the hospital, and today they are going to bring you breakfast."
She smiled and lay back down to rest. That was pretty much the last time she talked.
When I arrived I knew she was worried. Worried about her sons and what would happen when she was gone. Worried about leaving a home for someone to look after. I leaned over to her and said, "Don't worry Dorothy, Mark will take care of everything."
They say your hearing is the last thing to go, and that is so true. I was able to reach Mark by email from my phone about 1:30 p.m. I told him he could call me, and I could put the phone up to her ear so he could talk to her. The phone rang while the pastor from her church was praying, but I didn't care. I went over there and did as I said I would. The nurse was listening to her heart. As soon as Dorothy heard Mark's voice, she took a breath. He said a few words, then he said, "I love you." The nurse heard her heart beat two more times. Mark continued to talk. We were all so happy to witness this final exchange. She died about 1:40 p.m.
This morning I thought God put that bug in my gut to give me a break when in reality it wasn't about me at all. He needed me to be home and available to do something for Him.
My mom got here last night to help in any way she can. Later this morning we are going to make a few meals. Then we will pick up Mark from the airport and be there to do whatever needs doing. Pray for Mark and his brother as they grieve and make all the necessary preparations. Mark will have many decisions to make even after the funeral so pray about that too.
*****************************
I did finally update the previous post. See it's comments.
posted by Karen at 4/01/2008 03:41:00 AM
2 Comments:
What a touch story; I'm sitting here with tears in my eyes still. I'm glad you were able to be there for your friend, and I will be praying for friends and family as they go through this period of time
Thank you Karen, for enabling me to give my mother her last message. I remember every word I spoke, and that conversation will be repeated after this break in communication when she and I will speak again with no separation ever again.
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